When you’re at home all the time (and have been since March 2020…) #MondayBlogs


  • Develop satisfying projects, like re-writing your 200-book-long TBR list in order of preference, or training your eyebrows into a different shape with artful plucking.
  • or, you notice the forest where your eyebrows used to be, and decide to stop looking in the mirror/not cut your fringe after all.  

  • Experience extreme irritation if the shower gel has been put back in the wrong place.
  • Consider taking the two-minute walk up to local shop… if you can be bothered to go.  Because it means putting on boots, and a coat, and finding that damn mask, and… on the other hand, it is an outing.
  • Consider putting on make-up for the occasion then realise that there is no point because the mask will cover most of it and the eyebrow-hiding fringe will cover the rest.
  • Wonder why you haven’t read all those books thought would have time for.

Are super-chatty to the Asda delivery man, 

to the extent that he has to say, ‘Well, I’d better let you get on.”

  • Have a purse full of notes that have been there for at least six months.  Sometimes you look inside, see coins, and say, “Well, darn it, I wonder what those little bitty things are for?”
  • Consider rearranging your bookshelves in colours of the rainbow.
  • Get excited about your new tea towels arriving from M&S.
  • Order more things you don’t really need because it’s so lovely to get packages.
  • Discover what your real hair colour is.

  • Are convinced it’s Sunday, even though the calendar tells you it’s Thursday.  What if you’ve been forgetting to tear the pages off, though?  How would you know?
  • Have long ago stopped listening to the current lockdown rules, and just assume you can’t go anywhere or do anything.

  • Get excited about a trip to Waitrose, and try on different scarf/jacket/earring combinations.
  • Look at your high heels and wonder how you ever wore them.  More to the point, why.
  • Feel like the characters on The Walking Dead or whichever series you are currently watching are actually your friends.
  • … and PayPal has become an online friend.
  • Develop little routines that must be adhered to.  I am only one step away from having a checklist of things that must be done before bed, order of business for the morning before I start writing, etc.

  • Have already bought all suitable items from the ‘loungewear’ section of M&S Online, and eagerly await the spring collection
  • Notice that the week-per-view diary, which used to include lunches with girlfriends/reminders to book trains/hotels/all manner of appointments, etc., now reflects the way Alexei Sayle described a leaflet that came through his door entitled ‘What’s On In Stoke Newington’ – ‘A big sheet of paper with ‘fuck all’ written on it.’
  • (….no, scrap that, I just saw a diary entry for Thursday!  Oh…it says ‘wash towels’.)

Thank you to my sister, Julia, for her contributions!

(Please note: I realise that there are far more serious issues connected with the prolonged lockdown.  This is just a bit of fun, to lighten up a dull Monday morning… or is it Wednesday?)