In 2023 I will….
- Waste less of my life playing Spider Solitaire and use that time to do … almost anything else. Warning: do not start playing Wordle. It is, as my friend Rose Edmunds said, the gateway drug. I dipped my toe in the water last year, and found she was right – two months later I was on 10 games of Sudoku a day. When I got to Super-Duper Grandmaster I tried to quit, but an even bigger challenge beckoned and before I knew it I was right back there, chasing that next level.
Just Say No, I beg you.
- Stop clicking on trending Twitter hashtags about the Markles and other pointless ‘celebs’. It’s too easy to lose a whole hour of precious time browsing down the ‘She’s both stunning and brave, an inspiration who dared to speak out against The Firm’ versus ‘She’s a Grade A narcissist making a career out of slagging off the Royal Family and if she is so glad to be free of them why does she keep yakking on about them and calling herself a Duchess’ arguments. Few activities are more pointless.
- Remember to thank God on a daily basis for the invention of the Robovac.
- Stop eating biscuits.
- But … on a date yet to be decided, buy a pack of 4 Morrisons’ giant Belgian white chocolate and raspberry cookies and eat them all myself without feeling guilty. I’ve been considering this for years, and have vowed that this is the year I will make it happen. Got to reach for the stars, right?
- Really be in The Walking Dead (I mean actually IN IT, that world, not the TV show), and be in Rick’s group. I know this can be achieved if I set my mind to it, because I’ve seen all those motivational pictures of sunsets on Twitter saying ‘You can do anything you want. Be anything you want. Just Breathe’, and stuff like that.
- Stop telling people about the Great Reset/vaccine injuries/Klaus Schwab, etc etc, unless they ask me about it.
- …but, should they give me the slightest hint of an ‘in’, make sure they know all about the Great Reset, specifically CBDC, the social credit system, transhumanism, mandatory chips, the green energy con, the next pandemic, etc, so that they too understand that our days of joy, freedom and carefree happiness are numbered. Lol.
- Watch fewer documentaries about the Great Reset, etc, and more episodes of The Mighty Boosh and South Park.
- Clean more stuff. Generally. Anything. Just clean more stuff.
- Ignore emails alerting me to Desigual’s latest sale. I do not need any more clothes. I DO NOT NEED ANY MORE CLOTHES. Same goes for lurking around rails in actual real clothes shops on the way to the supermarket.
- Be more careful. Remember to do a recce of the flat before putting Rasmus to work (Rasmus is the Robovac), so that he doesn’t eat wires, rugs, etc. Do not attempt to move furniture without first removing breakable items placed precariously thereon.
- Stop engaging in dumb-ass activities like kneeling under my desk and lifting it up with my back (because I wanted to put some coaster things under the legs to raise the back legs slightly). I spent Christmas Eve in great pain; I am always hurting myself doing stuff like this. You know when people say, ‘I don’t know my own strength’? I’m the opposite. I think I am much stronger physically than I am. In fact I don’t even think, I just do things. Like the time I severely sprained/fractured some bones in my foot and assumed it was all better the very next day, shoving it into a high-heeled boot. That was in 1999, and it never knitted together properly, becoming a lump that shouldn’t be there. This has given me gip ever since, and has now teamed up with arthritis.
|Either that night or one very close to it!!!
- Get one of those time-turner things like they had in Harry Potter so that I can read all the books I want to read, maintain my Walking Dead obsession, go to all the places I want to go to, etc etc. Without one, I haven’t got enough time left. Which brings me back to the beginning again….
- Stop being judgmental. People can be, do and say whatever they like, and if they want to be total douchebags, it’s no business of mine.
- Say the word ‘verisimilitude’ without sounding as though I’m jolly pleased with myself for having got it into a sentence.
- Use the word ‘verisimilitude’ in a novel without sounding as though ditto.
- Finish and publish three books of new series. Book #1 is at final go-through stage, while Book #2 is 21K words into first draft. So excuse me while I go and get on with it. Though I’ll just have a quick game of spider solitaire first. It’s not 2023 yet!
Happy New Year!