View from the boat on Lake Garda |
It’s not the usual holiday ‘stress’
View of the Alps from the plane |
I feel as though my very identity is compromised. As well as not feeling relaxed in the apartment, I find being out and about for long periods tricky. I like exploring places, love expanses of water, but I find being ‘in the world’ all day for a full week terribly exhausting – psychologically. As soon as we arrived, I found myself counting down the days to my return. It sounds terribly sad ( and wasteful, even), but it’s just the way it is. I try very hard to make the most of everything. I try to find ways to go with the flow (I even took my own pillow), but the sense of discomfort persisted. My long suffering husband is amazing, by the way. He knows I find being away from home hard and does everything he can to soften the issue!
Malcesine |
What is strange is that I had no issues leaving home, aged eighteen. I never found that ‘difficult’ – quite the opposite in fact. This condition isn’t about being ‘homesick’ in the traditional way. It’s not a yearning to be with certain people or ‘family’. As it happens, I’ve moved loads of time – different colleges, different cities.
Each time, I was creating a new world around me – new routines and structures. A new home. And I loved it! I never had any hankerings for going back (quite the opposite, at Uni I used to have stomach upsets at vacation time and even stalled returns for as long as possible). It wasn’t my parents’ fault at all (poor loves), but it was as though the family ‘home’ had turned into the alien space, because my new identity at uni was the one I’d created and belonged in.
The Answer
My husband and I used to have a cat and tended to take 3-4 day city-breaks to places like Bruges, Amsterdam, Lille, Paris. These holidays worked better for me and he likes the idea of returning to this short-break structure, too. Phew!
Grotte di Catullo |
Limone |
As a result of this ‘condition’, I tend to enjoy holidays more afterwards and that is why photos are so important! I take lots of them. After the event, back home in my own space again I’m relaxed, looking back from a position of total calm! I often think of Wordsworth’s lovely quote about poetry: ’emotion recollected in tranquility’. Coming home is like a return to myself.
I’d be interested to hear from any other folk out there who can relate to this! Meanwhile, I’m back editing my next book (set on the water, as it happens), PERFECT BONES. And I couldn’t be happier!
All books can be read in any order (including Inside the Whispers (Bk 1) and Lost in the Lake (Bk 2) which are also in a series) |
- Over 450,000 books sold worldwide
- Girl on a Train #1 Bestseller on Kindle in UK and Australia (2015 & 2016)
- The Evil Beneath #1 in ‘Murder’ and ‘Psychological Thrillers’
- Dark Place to Hide #1 in ‘Vigilante Justice’
- No Longer Safe #1 in ‘Crime Noir’ [30,000 sold in the first month]
- Inside the Whispers #1 in ‘Medical Thrillers’
- Lost in the Lake #1 in ‘Hot New Releases/Medical Thrillers’