1. How did you celebrate when you finished your book?
I didn’t celebrate. I just moved straight to the promo phase, then went on a multi-city book tour.
I want to start celebrating my wins, even the small ones. This is something many of us forget to do.
2. What do you need in your writing space to help you stay focused?
Pure, undiluted fear. The fear of not achieving my dreams. The fear of not chasing them because I was too lazy or too scared. The fear of never getting my ideas out into the world.
I know this question is about productivity apps. But nothing motivates me more than FOMO.
3. How did you come up with the title for your book?
The title of my book just came to me. I was so frustrated with ‘’empowerment culture,’’ because it often felt shallow and dishonest.
‘’But I don’t feel empowered,’’ I said to myself. Am I allowed to say that? – And that’s how the title came about.
My book subverts empowerment narratives that look too much like toxic positivity. Loving yourself is great. But it’s not a blanket solution to every problem.
We don’t always need to emerge from trauma, ‘’better or more beautiful.’’ Sometimes, we can just exist – we can just be.
Here’s a quote from my book: ‘’But I don’t feel empowered,’’ says my inner voice. I feel soft and tender and messy and tired and hopeful.’’
4. Are there therapeutic benefits to modeling a character after someone you know?
Yes. I have a short poem in my book titled, ‘’Conversations with my mother about being gay.’’
My family is very homophobic. In this poem, I imagine that love is buried under all that prejudice.
The poem:
My mother tells me, I am disgusting
with the same tongue she uses
to tell me, she loves me.
She says them both in the same breath.
“Stop hanging around those lesbians.”
“Think about the consequences.”
“I love you.”
What she means is,
“I am scared.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I love you.”
She looks down at her palms—
fear washing over her face.
“I love you.”
“I love you too,” I say.
Most people believe that love is this all-powerful entity – that love conquers all. There’s this idea that if you love someone enough, you will accept them unconditionally. And if you don’t, that means you don’t truly love them.
Growing up in a traditional Asian family made me question this idea. I’ve learned that love – not matter how great – doesn’t always drown out prejudices.
Sometimes we float in the confused waters between love and hate because sometimes, that’s exactly how love works.
Writing poetry is therapeutic because it helps me unpack and heal from my messy, complex feelings.
5. At what point do you think someone should call themselves a writer?
This is controversial. But I believe that anyone can call themselves a writer. You’re a writer even if you’re just starting out.
The literary world is so elitist. There’s this idea that you need to be a certain type of person to write. That’s simply not true.
Writing is about expressing emotions above anything else. A writer is anyone who has the desire to tell stories. The size of their toolkit is irrelevant.
If you feel called to write, you should say that you’re a writer.
6. Do you hear from your readers much? What kinds of things do they say?
I do! I get messages on Instagram (@poemsbysuri) all the time! People have told me I inspire them, and capture niche experiences they’ve struggled to articulate. It’s so flattering when people say that my book made them cry!
I keep a folder of sweet messages that I look at when I need encouragement.
I don’t have the time to reply to every message (I wish I did)! But they mean more than people will ever know!
7. How do you use social media as an author?
I have 77,000 followers on Instagram (and counting). Check out my page – @poemsbysuri. Social media was instrumental to building my career. Nowadays, writers are expected to find an audience. That’s just the nature of the game.
Creating an author brand is almost as important as the writing itself. Thankfully, I adore social media.
I love sharing poems online and creating fun lifestyle content. I was definitely born in the right era.
8. How do you process and deal with negative book reviews?
‘’If everyone likes you, does anyone really like you?’’ This is a quote I live by.
My work isn’t for everyone. Some people aren’t going to get it, and that’s okay. Sometimes, I get full on social media haters – and that’s okay too.
If you’re doing something with an open heart, you’re going to stumble across people who adore you, and others who hate your guts. That’s just the reality of existing as your full self.
Someone once commented ‘’I love you,’’ right below another comment that said, ‘’I hate you.’’ That’s poignant. I laughed.
9. Whom do you trust for objective and constructive criticism of your work?
Definitely not my friends and family. If you want true, accurate feedback, you need to share your work with neutral people.
Your loved ones are tainted by their perceptions of you, or who they want you to be. They may also lie just to be nice. Most importantly, they’re probably your target audience anyway!
There’s no such thing as a truly objective person. Everyone is always projecting their individual desires and worldviews. That being said, it’s important to learn from criticism.
10. What do the words “writer’s block” mean to you?
It’s when I’m uninspired and unmotivated to write. I’ve heard that it’s common for writers to go through periods like these. But it feels permanent each time.
Sometimes, I think I’m never going to write again. But I always do.
I recently went through a phase where I didn’t feel like writing at all, and now I’m writing a brand-new book.
All of a sudden, the words are just flowing out of me. That’s the chaos and beauty of the process.